Part of what's going on here is that I've been considering this trip for five years and making definite plans for fourteen months. What could live up to that level of anticipation? I haven't read all of the Australia books I planned to read. I'm unreasonably nervous about the talk I'm giving at the Australian System Administrators Conference in Perth, even though it's gone over very well several times before and I have spent many hours updating and refining it for this presentation. I'm even nervous about the fact that I'm not packed yet and I leave in less than 8 days. In general, this is just a very, very big deal trip for me.
The flashpoint focus for my worry is that, despite a year's advance notice and planning, some major projects at work have changed and moved in a way that makes next month a bad time for me to be gone. This eats at me, despite the fact that at this point the plans are that I will drop in to work for a couple of days at my company's offices in Melbourne, which was originally meant to be a fun social thing but now will include my talking to the employees there about the documentation and production process and doing some research on a particular administration GUI.
But back here in the calmness of the reality that exists outside my own head, many things about the trip are falling wonderfully into place. For not much more than the cost of public transportation, the proprietors of the B&B where I'll be staying in Sydney will arrange to meet me at the airport (after I've been traveling for close to two days). After an afternoon's restup, a member of Sydney's gay and lesbian band with whom I used to correspond when that band was forming will pick me up and take me to band practice, which I think will be a great thing to do my very first night in Australia. The Sydney Morris Men have told me what fun it will be to meet up for a pint when I'm in town, although their response to my request for a definite date is always an enthusiastic reiteration of the claim that it will be fun rather than a specific time and place. I have arranged to rent a phone while I am in Australia, and I now have a gmail account I plan to use to stay in touch while I am overseas. The small group in Melbourne that sings American shape-note music will hold a special singing when I'm in that city. My lodgings and logistics are almost completely worked out, all except my final 5 days when I am back in Sydney and I have left those plans open on purpose.
So it's here, or it's almost here, and it's both delicious and frightening. I haven't felt this adolescent, or maybe just this nervous, in a long time. This will be fantastic.