This from Saturday evening (and does it matter how we got here in the first place?):
Me: If this church were sailing over the bounding main, where would the poopdeck be?
Joan: This section of pews is going to have to be reconsecrated after we leave.
Me: I often find that to be true. I leave a trail of apostasy wherever I go. Like a snail. In fact, I am pretty much the apostolic snail.
Tivey: I believe that "Snail of Apostasy" is more poetic.
This from Sunday afternoon:
Me to Smack: Do you have homework to do when you get home?
Smack: No, I have no homework on weekends. But I get enough homework during the week to be well-educated. Why are you laughing?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm just laughing. Well, that's great, it means you can spend your weekends having fun.
Smack: I do have some homework on the weekend. I have my stretchy exercises for physical education. (Bends down and touches his hands to the ground.)
Me: Wow, I could never do that, even when I was your age. And now that I'm fifty there's no hope.
Smack: Well, the average age is seventy.
Me: (thoughtful pause) Oh, the average age of death.
Smack: Yes, so you have a long time to do your stretchy exercises (bends down again to the ground).
I've got a good twenty years!