Steven (unzeugmatic) wrote,
Steven
unzeugmatic

Yesterday's Misbegotten T-Shirt Slogan

My career as a late-in-life barfly continues apace. Most of my visits to the Minneapolis Eagle still hold interest and a sense of adventure, and thus I keep returning. The bartenders know my name and what beer I drink. I am both a participant in and an observer to the passing scene.

One thing I observe are the sexually suggestive t-shirts. Sexually suggestive t-shirts, ideally worn tight over a gym-toned body, have been a sartorial staple at gay bars since the 70s. (Does anybody else remember the t-shirt that read "Dance 10, Looks 3"? I think that one originated as a cartoon in an early Christopher Street magazine, when it was trying to be the gay New Yorker.)

The Eagle isn't really the best place to document these t-shirts, in a folkloric sense, but you'll find the occasional representation of this custom. I was amused a few months ago to see a man wearing a t-shirt that read, "I am the man from Nantucket." For one thing, I was impressed that people still know the vulgar limerick this references (although there was a reference to it on last week's Will and Grace, so how obscure could it be?), and besides, anything that reminds me of singing on the band bus brings me a happy memory.

A problem with these t-shirts is that, like most jokes, they are only funny once. So the second and subsequent times somebody looks at your t-shirt they will be bored or perhaps annoyed. Even "Let go of my ears I know what I'm doing", on a t-shirt, has no particular impact after the initial glance.

Last night I saw a t-shirt that brought a whole new level of problem to the genre. The t-shirt I saw read, "I would do me". Ok, I know that the intended message is something along the lines of "Having sex with me would be pleasurable for you" but, somehow, I think this one misses the boat. Hell, it misses the ocean. I don't think the resonance of fetishistic narcissism and self-love taken to an orgasmic extreme is what the wearer intended.

Live by the quip, die by the quip.
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