Steven (unzeugmatic) wrote,

The Measure of My Powers

[Dick filter. Lots of dicktalk here. Lots of talk about my own.]

About two years ago, at the monthly bear bar night, I was in the men's room when a man of my acquaintance who had never been particularly friendly before looked over and down at my dick, raised his eyebrows, and turned his face back up to me with a big, big grin. "It's just a dick!" I said in response, which I have since been told is the definition of "buzzkill". Nonetheless, this guy has been a lot more friendly to me since then. I once told him that I found it funny that he never seemed to pay much attention to me until he saw my dick, and his straightfaced embarrassment-free response was, "But it's such a nice dick." He then turned to somebody else we were with and told this other guy what a nice dick I have.

To which I can only say, "Huh?"

As I've said, to my mind most dicks are pretty much the same size and that includes mine, and there's really nothing notable about it. I said this once to somebody for whom mine was the first dick he'd had the opportunity to observe up close, and he was very cute and sweet about the situation. He asked me something about how mine compares, and I gave my standard response that mine was pretty much the same size as everybody else's, noting that it was the same size as his, for example. "Yours is thicker than mine," he replied (without having to look down to check). Um, I guess.

Ok, here's the thing I've considered in retrospect: In both of those situations there had been a fairly long period of pretty intense stimulation preceding the observations. In the first case there had been a bunch of bear bar night flirtation and chest-stroking and the like. In the second case I was lying naked next to one of the most attractive-to-me men I've ever known intimately. While I haven't read much about this specifically elsewhere, in my experience there's being erect and there's being ERECT and the difference is quite notable. When I read about, say, the average size of an erect male penis, I never know whether they're talking functionally erect or maximally erect, or, in fact, whether my personal experience of the difference is universal. (But, I should point out, even maximally erect I'm certainly no candidate for the blackbooks of those men who collect extremes.)

Now that I've become a barfly, I find myself for the first time in my life in situations where I will sometimes get groped, or at least checked out with a gentle grab. I'm not talking about sexrooms or underwear night, but general evenings at the Eagle or Bear Bar Night at Trikkx. This is all friendlier and less outrageous than you might think if you've never been in such a situation. What I've discovered is that, despite my generally overwrought sense of propriety, I don't mind at all if somebody touches my dick. I think that's because the dick itself doesn't hold huge significance to me. Basically I don't care. If you want to touch it, then touch it. It's like Colin the Aborigine asking to taste it. Sure, go ahead.

Well, to tie this all together, by the time in the evening when guys are checking out my, er, package, I've probably been having a fairly happy flirty time. So they sometimes find something that yields the same reaction that the guy at the urinal had, although I've learned not to plead, "But it's just a dick".

Instead I relax into the amusement of it all. I sometimes feel like a girl with a new set of boobs walking through a sports bar. I sometimes feel like a fraud because I'm not really playing the same game. I sometimes feel like a fraud because I honestly don't think my dick in particular should be attracting this kind of notice. I sometimes feel as if I've landed on a different planet. And I usually feel about 30 years younger than I am.

And, and, really, underneath it all I still keep thinking, like a mantra: But it's just a dick!

Which is very, very funny to me.
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